Holiday Spoof-a-Long Forum Contest Winners Announced
January 8, 2008
We challenged our forum community to rewrite the lyrics to popular holiday songs, making them about their favorite MMOGs. A number of creative folks rose to the challenge! The Ten Ton Hammer staff nominated their favorite entry from each forum, and a random drawing determined our three winners. Our first place winner receives a 6 month subscription to her favorite game, while our two runners up receive 3 months. Without further ado, here are the winners:
O Come All Ye Greenskinz - by Snafzg, aka, The Greenskin!
Sung to the tune of O Come All Ye Faithful
O Come All Ye Greenskinz
Vengeful and Bloodthirsty,
O come ye, O come ye to Mount Blood-horn.
Take Up Your Choppas, Grind 'em Sharp and Pointy;
O come, and git a Stunty,
O come, and git a Stunty,
O come, we'll kill da Stunties!
Waaagh! We Shall Cry!
O Beat on the War Drums,
Beat 'em Loud and Strongly.
Beat 'em like they wuz a bunch of Humie heads!
Pray to the Gork, and sacrifice to Mork;
O come, we'll give 'em Humies,
O come, we'll give 'em Humies,
O come, we'll slay da Humies!
Waaagh! We Shall Cry!
All Hail! Bloody Sun Boyz,
We da bestest tribe!
Grumlok leadz us now-until a meaner orc comes!
Ol' Gazbag tells us, "Go and hunt for supper!"
O come, let'z find sum Elf meat,
O come, let'z git sum Elf meat,
O come, we'll dine on Elf meat!
Waaagh! We Shall Cry!
Waaagh! Waaagh! Waaagh! Merry Tzeenchmas!
Last edited by Snafzg; 12-17-2007 at 12:11 PM.
Reason: Sung to the tune of...
Jingle Squig
Performed by Ceragord Lightbringer
to the tune of Jingle bells
Owwwww Jingle squig jingle squig
jingle on my axe
oh what fun it is to cleave
a chunk out of your back
owwwww Jingle squig jingle squig
jingle night and day
slaying squigs is family fun
to pass the holiday
cutting skin and bone
chunks of green flesh shown
skewered in his lands
" oh look there goes his hands" ha ha ha
Blood stained greenskin home
of course I'm not alone
dwarves come to share the fun
Axe's for everyone Ha Ha HA
the death and carnage is done
three cheers for everyone
the zone will soon reset
then we will do it all again
Owwwww Jingle squig jingle squig
jingle on my axe
oh what fun it is to cleave
a chunk out of your back
owwwww Jingle squig jingle squig
jingle night and day
slaying squigs is family fun
to pass the holiday
Last edited by Ceragord; 12-17-2007 at 11:14 AM.
Reason: spelling
Are you hanging up the halflings off the walls?
It's the time that greater daemons eat you all
Does he ride a mutant hell-disc?
Does he slash all those who pray?
Does Khorne keep him bezerk for a day?
Chorus:
So here it is Merry Slaughter
Everybody's on the run
You've got no future now
The end has just begun
Are you hoping that your belly won't be scythed?
Are you wanting all your guts to stay inside?
Does your daddy always tell ya that his sword-arm is the best?
Now he's cowering in the corner with the rest
Chorus:
So here it is Merry Slaughter
Everybody's on the run
You've got no future now
The end has just begun
What will your daddy do
When he sees your Mama throwing fire-balls?
Agggggh! agggggggggggh!
Are you putting up a symbol on your wall?
Are you hoping that now Sigmar will save you all?
Do you flee on down the hillside like a high-pitched noble maid?
When you land without your head then you've been slayed
Chorus (4x)
So here it is Merry Slaughter
Everybody's on the run
You've got no future now
The end has just begun
Hark!, how the drums,
Harsh, beating drums,
All seem to say,
“WAR comes this way.”
Chaos is here,
Bringing more fear
To all Order
Reckless murder
Bum, bum, bum, bum
That’s how they’re drummed
All Chaos hordes
March to his words
Tzeentch calls for blood
Bodies lie in mud
As darkness falls
We’ll heed his call
On, on we march
Through every marsh
Swinging our blades
Through all the glades
Scary, scary, scary, scary Tzeentchmas
Scary, scary, scary, scary Tzeentchmas
On, on he sends
On without end
His sacred whim:
Severing limbs
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. BOM!
'Twas the night before Death Night, when all through the village
The Dark Elves was stirring, they all wanted to pillage;
The Dwarf Beards were hung by the doorway with care,
In hopes that a Magus would cast the spell “Flare”;
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of pikes and spears were stuck in Empire heads;
And mamma with her daggers, and I in my sorcerer hat,
Had just cast a spell shocking an Empire Lord’s cat,
When out on the lawn there spawned nasty Skaven,
I sprang from the bed noticing my lawn dwarf was taken.
I jumped out of the window and crashed with a flash,
I leveled up and I could equip my new sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the luster of mid-day when I delivered my blow,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Another terrified Skaven, and I could smell the fear,
With a little old dagger, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment she wasn’t a nice chick.
More rapid than rangers her attacks caused me pain,
And she screamed, and shouted, and called me bad names;
"Now! “Orc face”, now! “Pansy”, now! “Posh”, and “Pretty”!
On! “Ugly”, on! “Stupid”, on! “Dumber” “Not witty”!
To the top of Naggarond! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away Dark Elves! Dash away all!"
As the Dark Elves heard that little Skavens battle cry,
Arkane walked over, and poked her in the eye,
Poked in the eye once, and in the eye twice,
These Dark Elves were ruthless, they didn’t play nice.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the street
Six or seven more Skaven, and their tiny little feet.
As I drew in my staff, and was turning around,
The Skaven leader, he was easily found.
He was dressed in nothing, from his head to his foot,
I went and cast a spell, and turned him into ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys fell from his back,
And we looted and pillaged that tiny little sack.
Skaven eyes twinkled! Their dimples not merry!
Their cheeks turned to frown, their whole body was hairy!
Their sad little mouths were drawn down like a lower case “n”,
And then it hit me, I blew up their best friend;
The Skaven them smiled to show me their teeth,
And smoke from anger encircled their heads like a wreath;
They had real ugly faces and a little round belly,
That snapped, and I laughed and turned them to jelly.
There was another body there, an angry Dark Elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
I took the hint, he wanted me dead;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And ignored me charging at him; man what a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up in a poof he rose;
He sprang to his Cold One, and it let out a roar,
And away they road, his attitude still poor.
But I heard him exclaim, as he rode out of sight,
"Happy Death Night to all, and to all a Death-night!"
Boggit the Gobbo was a stupid little runt
With a scabby bum and a big hooked nose
and two eyes that hate your soul
Boggit the Gobbo is a laughing stock they say
He was born a mushroom but the greenskins
say that they all regret that day
There must have been some warpstone in that
old and dusty hat they found
For when he fell and it went on his head
he began to spin around
O
Boggit the Gobbo
was as mad as he could be
And the greenskins say he would just laugh
and spin not at all like you and me
Thumpetty thump thump
thumpety thump thump
Look at Boggit go
Thumpetty thump thump
thumpety thump thump
Spinning that ball just so
Boggit the Gobbo knew
that the shrooms were good that day
So he said
"Rackoewyakyflah
gludnagshafeltughrack
shlekdargnaboggitnah
" Down to the village
with a ball and chain in his hand
Running here and there all
around the square slaying
as many Dwarfies as he can
He span around the streets of town
right to the Dwarven Lords
And he never paused a moment when
he heard them scream out "Stop!"
For Boggit the Gobbo
had to hurry on his way
But he waved goodbye saying
"Why oh Why!
All those mushrooms made me die!
" Thumpetty thump thump
thumpety thump thump
Look at Boggit go
Thumpetty thump thump
thumpety thump thump
Spinning that ball just so.
You better watch out
You better not cry
I wouldn’t doubt
Paul Barnett stabs you in the eye
Paul Barnett is coming to town
He's making a list,
And won’t check it at all;
He is on Team Badass after all.
Paul Barnett is coming to town
He sees you when you're beta testing
He knows when you're logged in
He knows if you've been bad or good
With white glasses and the hair on his chin!
Oh! You better watch out!
You better not cry.
Better not doubt, Paul Barnett will stab you in the eye.
Paul Barnett is coming to town.
Paul Barnett is coming to town.
Holiday Spoof-a-Long Contest - Winners Announced!
Waaagh! Waaagh! Waaagh! Merry Tzeenchmas! 
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